Too old to be wild is the biggest load of disapproving, schoolmarmish bollocks about bikers I’ve seen… this week, at least.

Mind you, I know a few of these ‘weekend warrior’ bikers, mostly middle-aged wankers who try to strike up conversations or impromptu street races because they’re under the impression that we have something in common. Trust me, we don’t.

You are a greying/balding bastard who spends his working week in an office generally being a twat of the highest order, and your Power Ranger race leathers look shit too. Come and talk to me when you’ve ridden into a snowstorm on crappy British roads. At night. Sissies.

There’s this bloke on UKRM who just failed his CBT; He can’t get used to the throttle being on the handlebars and keeps over-revving it, yet he’s going to keep retryiong until he scrapes through. Free tip - if you can’t pass a CBT, maybe the problem isn’t with the bike’s design. I did mine with this bloke who hadn’t ridden bikes for 30-odd years (yes he’s one of the part-timer riders, but we’ll forgive him for now); he stalled a fair few times, made the odd mistake, and fell off at one point (it didn’t help that the bike he was on had a dodgy ignition), but by the end of the day he’d got the hang of it.

So if he can get the hang of it in 8 hours on a knackered CG125, maybe the bikes aren’t the real problem.