Today, we took Laura’s little cousin Nichole to see Shark Tale, in the dingiest cinema I have ever seen (the only one in NJ that it was still playing in) - and apparently she loves me

American cops are very amusing to listen to when they are dealing with people, so much more than miserable English ones - grumpy old sods.

New Jersey is, to my amazement, even colder than Manchester; yet I still feel like I am where I should be.

TTFN.

Though I am actually still going to be in this country when the sun rises tomorrow, this is the last one I’m going to have time to photograph, so it must suffice

This is my last day in dear old Blighty for a while, and my plans for today are:

• Go shopping in a short while for some last-minute doodads.
• Get my shit together and get packed.
• Call Laura (obviously)
• Spend some quality time with Josh and Lucas.
• Have a nice, relaxed evening - with any luck.

Hmm, what else, what else? Oh, just enough time to say a big “Merry Christmas/Whatever” to you all

This is John, bidding you good day from these shores for a while. TTFN.

I used to think Jack Straw was an utter fuckstick of a Home Secretary (in fact, if you ever come across a £5, £10 or £20 note with the words “Jack Straw is a cunt” written along one of the edges, it’s more than likely passed through my hands at some point in it’s life :D) - but then David Blunkett came along and redefined the phrase “draconian arsehair”.

So thank you David Blunkett, for finally resigning, you evil Nazi cunt - I know your successor will be just as bad as you were, but quite frankly 1,000 turbo-charged robotic Hitlerdogs would be more tolerable than you, Jizzface.

Shit off.

You might recognise Gonzo. He’s one of the Muppets.

While taking a much needed nap this afternoon, I had a brief but disturbingly memorable dream, in which Gonzo was demonstrating (for my benefit it would seem) masturbation techniques, using his elongated nose as an impromptu phallus.

I will never be able to watch the Muppet Show with the same childlike innocence ever again