I’m not usually one to defend that emblem of tedious modern conformity, but this very funny parody of what the iPod would be like if Microsoft designed the packaging kinda makes me thankful for Apple’s minimalist design aesthetic.

Look at the two images above, and compare the text within each picture; on the right we have the ever popular H5N1, more commonly known as “Avian Flu”. To the left is some cheeky wideboy’s attempt to cash in on the notoriety of said virus by selling a UK licence plate that reads “HN51 FLU” - in other words, it’s almost an amusingly poignant reminder of the power that germs hold over our supposedly superior lives (or something..), but it’s not quite right, is it?

Now, it’s not the slightly controversial nature of the plate that bothers me, nor that he advertises it as being an “Excellent plate for vets, doctors or scientists!” - I couldn’t care less about that; it’s the fact that he has set the starting bid on eBay at £8,999, with a “Buy It Now” price of £19,999! Granted, because of the way our licensing system works an accurate registration would be impossible to produce, but to expect that people would shell out so much for what amounts to a dyslexic licence plate just… befuddles the mind.

Yes, I am officially befuddled.

This little story perfectly encapsulates why I cannot stand people:

A photographer lost their expensive camera whilst holidaying in Hawaii, and was understandably distraught until one day they received a call from a park ranger passing along details of a Canadian family that had found the camera. After discussing specific details of the equipment, thus proving that it was indeed their camera, the following gem was uttered by the Canadian mother:

“Well,” she said, “we have a bit of a situation. You see, my nine year old son found your camera, and we wanted to show him to do the right thing, so we called, but now he’s been using it for a week and he really loves it and we can’t bear to take it from him.”

“And he was recently diagnosed with diabetes, and he’s now convinced he has bad luck, and finding the camera was good luck, and so we can’t tell him that he has to give it up. Also we had to spend a lot of money to get a charger and a memory card.”

Apparently, teaching your child how to do the right thing means stealing somebody else’s possessions, then calling them to taunt them with a rousing chorus of “finders keepers”.

Welcome to QuadLasers.com, the official new home of my little bit of the web. I’m in the process of sprucing up this site a little bit, but for now things will continue as per usual…

This funny, weird three-minute advert for Lost was broadcast during the 2006 Superbowl last night. Best use of a Robert Palmer song ever. I’ve also uploaded the video (Quicktime .MOV format, 6.6MB) if you want to have a copy of it.

WARNING: The following video contains several split-second Series Two spoilers; some will just confuse the piss out of you (in the true spirit of Lost), while others may end up answering questions that you don’t want answering until you have seen the episodes themselves. If this isn’t a problem for you, go ahead and press ‘play’ - otherwise, don’t come bitching to me, ok?